Sunday, January 22, 2012


A Woman in My Dream

Few weeks ago, I was not sure whether it is day or night dream, but a young woman, at my age, did appear in my dream, leaving me an unforgettable memory clustered in the brain.

The dreams were divided into two or three main acts, separating by more than a week time from each other. The woman really attracted me, even it lasted already for few weeks so far, after awake, the heart bits faster than normal, and suddenly I remind myself, that I wish to meet her, although don’t know whether or not she exists, but I wish she does, so that this imagination will be happily transformed into the reality.

The dream kicked off with a partly-clear setting (time was not revealed, but place do actually identified). It also starts the journey with an interesting moment as I was thinking of finding a wife, while heart remains empty. BUT TO THE REALITY, ACTUALLY, I DON’T TRIGGER UP MY LIFE FOR MARRIED LIFE RIGHT NOW, AND MY HEART IS ALSO OCCUPIED.

The love story you are going to read below are about 80% originated from dreamings, while the 20% came from newly-inserted theme just wanna make the stories run more consistent.

 To the first dream. In conjunction to the intention of finding a partner (but to the reality I am not), few of my relatives, who are likely the native of Kompong Cham, I supposed, introduced me a young girl who is the daughter of merchant family living in Kompong Cham Province, mentioning she is the girl that fits best to me.

“My dear nephew, she is a beautiful woman, the only daughter of a Chinese business family there, she has built respective background among the community, and believe me, I am sure so far no one say anything bad against her...,” said one of my aunt existing in the dream, but I couldn’t investigate who she is though the above expression, and voice,whereas I don't have any relatives living in Kompong Cham so far. She said adding that, “Especially, my nephew, she has also graduated two Bachelor’s degrees in Phnom Penh like you did, so you both match best each other.”

After hearing the brief introduction of her beauty along with reserved characteristics from my imagery relative, who toke roll as the go-between, I did visit her residence at the province,examining her while she is selling goods to local customers, then wash the dishes after luncheon.

She looks quite the same my age, straight bright black hair, mild white complexion, bright teeth, slim, tall enough which quite fits to mine, and also reveal reserved characteristics. The dream even further expressed she did graduate two Bachelor’s degrees from Phnom Penh as same as I did, while a degree at RULE was identified.  YET, I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHO SHE IS? Or whether she exists, or whether or not she is already a friend of mine whom I already met!

I did look around her house’s structure for a while which fill with goods loading, selling materials as the family manages home business, as a wholesaler, yet I couldn’t discover where the house is actually located, and whether it is where I already visited, since it already existed in my memory.


After observing her appearance, along with short time mental connection, I did greatly accept her as wife with only love at first glance, WHILE ENGAGEMENT PROCESS, I COULDN’T REMEMBER IF IT WAS ARRANGED OR NOT.

And, she just accepts the proposal and marries me. But unfortunately, our couple lives after married were not able to visualize, so I can’t’ design out how our post-married existence would be transpired. And the first ACT in my dream ended her.

After getting awake on the other morning, my common sense immediately alerts me of growing such silly married life, saying that “Vutha, you are not supposed to lead marriage life in that way. Your marriage life won’t start only through other peoples ‘recommendations, and through only the lens of love at first glance.”

 “It is you your self, who enjoy the privilege and reasonability to ascertain your own destiny, and marry only the woman you have ,adequate confidence, been fascinated with and in love by your own, and only with adequate long considerable time to bridge hearts.” my good sense warns.

Then, during the time I was paying a visit to Sihanouk Vile to attend the first ever sea festival celebration, and also to honor the New Year ‘Eve, the second act which continued from the previous dream of love- at-first-glance series turned up.

But, then the setting switched to Sihanouk Ville, — the exact location of my guesthouse bloc, where I was apparently anchored. I, at the night dream, I am sure this time, see that woman again at an unspecified-and unnamed food court, but I am sure, it was at somewhere I walked pass during the day.

She was sitting near a table aside at the restaurant’s angle, reading a book entitled, “The Pleasure Zone” which is the resourceful psychology book I have been reading for months ago, but actually the book’s full title is “The Pleasure Zone: How our inhibitions make us resist and deny good feelings and how to let go and be happy.” Which I my self who have keen on reading the book long ago also couldn’t spelled out the whole title.
After seeing her reading the book at my strong interest, I immediately asked her with surprised tone, Excuse Me miss! Do you read this book too? What chapter are you reading now? was it interesting?, ….yet she just toke a glance at me, smiled, yet no a single word was reacted as mean of response, which it is impossible for me to figure out her voice, in order to lead to assumption whether she is familiar to me or not.

But I believe she is the actress performed in my first dream which taken place at Kompong Cham whom I wish to meet at the first dream.

Afterward, I can’t remember exactly, if it is at the same night dream or another act appears during a nap at the bus while I was going back to Phnom Penh.

I seem like sure she will leave Sihanouk Ville for Phnom Penh, as she may study, or work there, so I smartly propose her returning back with me by free of charge while the delegate bus I came with had sits available.

And she greatly accepts the offer, and on the bus back to Phnom Penh we both enjoy the honey time of chitchat, introducing, and share life matters to each other, in which the matters have rarely been uncovered before even to my closed friends, while sitting so close to each other, YET I NEITHER VISUALIZE HER FACE, NOR HER NAME as her face looked blur, an my brain forgot to ask her name.

So where can I find and meet her, I should smartly ask her phone number, residence, or some more details in the dream, so that is would be much greater to find her in the real world.

While taking seat on bus close to each other, I saw her pick out another book entitled “What the Bible Actually Say?” which also another of my beloved book, as it links to my belief. I was fearless, then open mouth asking her again whether she is the bible student like me, or already a Christian. In response, she immediately implied yes, she is also the bible learner, which greatly satisfies me again since I am a wishing for a woman who come from the same world of mine, so that she will understand my heart and satisfy to live in my world (Believe in God Jehovah). I asked her, “What chapter are you studying now? How do you remark the book? ...

Then, I am sure, she is the woman I am finding, and I feel, I am the man she is wishing for as well since we both just come across each other for few days (time counted in the dram), but our hearts already deeply combined, as many significant thing of our lives are similar, and relevant.

I know her about several minutes during at bus journey back home (time in my dream), but I do feel like I have known her years already.

YET I STILL CAN’T VISUALIZE HER FACE CLEARLY, AND FIGURE OUT WHO SHE IS! And whether she is the woman I already met or not, as I can’t’ design her face though this unclear imagery dreaming.

The second act or probably third act, and also the last imagery movie in which I my self performed the actor ended here!

Let’s conclude the love-at-first-glance dreaming!

Previously, I imagine too much and often as the result, many imagery dreams came. I likely believe and wait for the dreams come true one day, but after I was introduced to Jehovah God, I never believe and wait again for the dream, as it is not from the reality, but only form by unconscious mental balance resulting form daily mental consumption, and too much day-dreaming on a single matter.

I know I don’t demand for a too-much beautiful girl, and I don’t value physical beauty as main criteria to find wife, but mental beauty, and heart-understanding are what I value most.

Turn to the girl I came across at my personal dream screenings is physically, and mentally fit to my requirement, but will I meet her? Even if I will meet her, I still don’t know exactly, if she is the one I dream of.

But in the real world, with the full-mental judgment, I don’t long for such woman from love at first glance, as my heart is already occupied and left no room for ‘THIS UNCLEAR WOMAN APPEARING IN MY DREAM.”

This is just a dream, previously, I would believe it and wish to have her as my beloved wife, but to my contemporary sense, I treat dreaming just an unreliable imagery after brain too often considers on one category of matter. I hope my love would born interestingly this way, but hope my wife won’t come this way with only love at first glance.

These short series of love-at first glance imaginations may appear, resulting from my too much thoughts of love affection recently, but at least, I count it as a fascinating dream.





Monday, January 2, 2012

 Fun Inside My Heart

Day by day- then go to year by year, I just feel physically companion during relax time, but mostly mentally alone! The time people prefer gathering and playing fun, I prefer staying alone, and enjoy calm in mind! what kind of the person I am!

Yes, I long for a new year celebration in mind too! because I am not the man who easily enjoy with entertainments, gathering, party,, drinking, or sth else in this category. What I mostly want is to have a hearty ally- i.e. to have some1 stay  heartily connected to me, to celebrated happy and sad time with me, so that I won't feel internally alone.

I need her because most friends only share physical joy and sad with me, but they can't share fun and sad moment deep inside my heart. But where is her? Do I meet her already or not yet?